Funny Women.

April 20th, 2011

I’ve taken time out of my busy day to write this blog because I felt compelled to. And to be fair I couldn’t think of any jokes, and in my experience if you can’t think of jokes you should do something else. Like drink. Then everything gets funny.

So this is about Funny Women. Which is, if you don’t know, a competition for newish female stand ups. My twitter followers already know how I feel about the current debacle but I wanted to write down my thoughts in a clear and reasoned fashion so I couldn’t be accused of being bitchy because of personal gripes.

In the interests of balance I should make it clear I entered the Funny Women competition two years in a row. I got to the final the second time round and met some wonderful comics who have remained my friends for many years. I don’t like competitions but that’s partly because I am rubbish at them. I have also never subscribed to the argument that a competition solely for women is, in essence, a bad thing. Whenever anyone talks about women in comedy it is considered terribly wrong to say “Yes. It is more difficult for women” but it is. I don’t think a competition is the worst idea that’s ever been put in front of me but it’s not the best.

But inequality doesn’t just happen in comedy, it’s the way of the world. Recent equal pay cases in Scotland made it clear that for years women have been paid far less than their male equivalents. During my time as a lawyer I could list numerous occasions where sexism played it’s part in my career but I won’t, I’m not daft.

The point is this. One of the reasons I got into comedy because I didn’t feel I had a voice when bad things happened. Now I have a microphone and a trapped audience. So I get very annoyed when anything threatens my, or any other comics, ability to say what they think. Which is why I don’t have any problems standing up against what I think threatens the UK comedy circuit.

When I heard about Funny Women this year I instantly noticed it was what is called “Pay to play”. They are charging competitors £15 to enter. On any level I believe that is wrong. What makes the UK circuit better than the US, for example, is that people can get stage time without paying. They may not get paid but at least they aren’t out of pocket. To start asking people to pay for a competition where the organisers charge people to attend the gigs is wrong. So I said that. I refrained from making personal comment in the competition until this happened.

http://www.funnywomen.com/girl-talk.php

You can see the full text of the article at the link but I wanted to make a few points about what is said in that press release.

“More importantly however, over the past nine years Funny Women has been fully committed to both the belief that women are funny, and that they can act with grace and professionalism in what continues to be a largely male dominated industry.”

I’ll be honest I don’t know what acting with grace and professionalism means. Do TV producers sit down and say “oh we must get that comic on Mock the Week, not funny but did you see the way she glides? So graceful” What a pile of crap. Female comics are as diverse as their male equivalents and are the better for it. If you want us all to look and act like something from a PG Wodehouse novel it’s not going to happen. By saying that you are confirming the stereotype that all women should be feminine, quiet and humble. Nope.

“Female comics are constantly battling the stigma that they are nothing but bitchy and irrational bodies who are more interested in talking about periods and meaningless gossip to say anything useful on stage.”

I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. I can say what I want. Piss off.

“However, despite this it would appear that there are still a number of female comics hell-bent on perpetuating this debilitating stereotype, and instead of tailoring their behaviour to the advantage of female comedy as a whole, would rather spend their time proving to the world, yet again, that women have nothing better to do than gossip and whine.”

This entire statement is whining and bitchy. Do not tell me to tailor my anything to anyone. How dare you suggest that talking about what matters to me as a woman perpetuates a debilitating stereotype. As one comic said to me on twitter, all comics bitch and whine. It’s what we do. Censorship like that is wrong, just as it was wrong when you told competitors they couldn’t say the word “cunt” on stage.

“Furthermore, (and with a sentiment of great disappointment), it’s nothing short of unfortunate that the main culprits in all this are the very same people that have gained the most from their involvement with Funny Women. Jo Caulfield yes we agree, it is harder for women in comedy, but not because of a nominal £15 registration fee, but because whenever there is even the most vague attempt to move female comedy beyond the past and on to the next level, there’s almost always someone doing their best to perpetuate the negative stereotype and make it even harder for anyone trying to start a dynamic career in their world.”

Am I being told off for saying what I think? Do you think because it’s a competition for women that I won’t say what I think? Do you think that the way to move female comedy to the next level is to censor them? Do you think all any female comic wants is to be on TV? You’re disappointed in me? Let me tell you something lady the only person that can get away with the “I’m not angry, I’m disappointed” thing is my dad. And he would never ask me to change. And he’s a man.

And if you are in anyway taking credit for any of my success you can forget it. I have worked my arse off for the past 5 years to get where I am. I know the staff on Virgin trains better than my family, haven’t had a holiday in 5 years and work every hour of the day. That’s why I’ll make it.

“So, potential female comedians of the future, you have been presented with both a choice and an opportunity: you can either take comedian Shappi Khorsandi’s advice and do what’s expected of you as a girl, (namely take your registration fee and go shopping for a new hat), jump on the bandwagon and perpetuate the stereotype of the bitchy irrational female comedian who’s more interested in gossip than developing a professional profile; or you can rise up and act with the strength and poise of a woman, join us in making a statement, and be a fundamental part of taking female comedy beyond this silliness and on the next level.”

So I have a choice. Pay money to enter and be a real woman or stand up for my beliefs and be a girl. Great choice you give us. And patronising. For your information I never jump on bandwagons. I am an educated articulated woman who makes her own choices and decisions.

Your article is a bitchy irrational dig at a group of women and men who stand up for what they believe in.

In conclusion the tone of your article is more offensive than any discrimination I have ever suffered.